Free shipping on all social media services

We're proud to offer free shipping on all our services. Need some social media strategy in Northern Siberia? We'll deliver it in eco-friendly packaging by drone.

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Services stored in our atmosphere-controlled warehouse

For your utmost peace of mind, all our social media services are stored in vacuum-sealed urns in a fully atmosphere-controlled warehouse. Built 15km into a mountainside in rural Norway, our $11 billion investment into service storage is world-class and definitely worth the money we spent on it.

Our team of AI-controlled service bots hand pick your chosen service packages and start them on their journey to your business front door.

Delivered by our state-of-the-art drone fleet

Our deliveries are handled by our fleet of two million drones, all controlled by a system that's about fifteen lines of code away from SkyNet. But don't worry, if anything goes wrong we've rigged the drone hangar to explode. We're forward thinkers, just as our clients expect.

The Pyrolane Drones are fitted with the latest smart missile technology, and are capable of defending your social media service delivery from most small nations. Equipped with night-vision and heatseeking technology, our drones can deliver in any weather conditions across any terrain.

A Pyrolane delivery is a happy delivery

Do you want to be as happy with your social media services as this woman from a stock photo we found? Of course you do. So why not see how we, and our military-grade drone fleet, can help you today.

To get that warm, fuzzy feeling of a problem well solved, simply fill in the form below and we'll send one of our drones around to interrogate you about your requirements.

There's no commitment necessary, but the drones have been known to suffer software glitches. We recommend a bat or a chair to defend yourself just in case. We cannot be held liable for drone-related injuries. If you'd prefer to set up a short meeting with a human instead, click the button below. We look forward to hearing from you!

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